Vampire Gymnast
by HoneyLovesCake
Summary: What happens when A girl plops into the Vampire Knight world, How did she get there and more importantly how does she know so much?  Adopted from T.S0616. Rated T because om paranoid. Attempted Humor. Co-writen with EmiLovesyou!
1. Chapter 1

**Yo! Hey Kiki Here ! This Story was adopted from T.S0616. And this Chapter , Yep This one, Was written By T.S0616, I made so changes because the charachter was a bit of a Mary Sue (No offense T.S0616). She'll probably still be a Mary Sue after I'm done because..well I'm not that creative XD. Anyway Depending on when your Reading this, the Second chapter will be out as soon as I finsh it and It will be written by me ;) see ya then/**

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><p>I was pounding on my desk in biology, When the teacher decided to be a but wipe a speack up.<p>

" Since you cannot possibly stop pounding on my desks you can leave and go home." Gosh, this man cared more for his desks then his dorky I've-been-around-the-world collection.

"Aw man, c'mon. it's eighth period and there's only ten minutes left. Are you really going to give me a zero for the day? If you are, then you bogus." I said with an slight attitude, but hey thats just me .

Did seemed he more pissed-off than usual today ? "And I'll give you a 6:30 A.M detention for talking back."

"What!" I yelled, flapping my arms around...maybe I didn't need to by like I said, I have an attidude.

"Get out of my class." He said handing me a detention slip. I snatched it outta his hands, grabbed my stuff and slammed the door on the way out.

I didn't even bother waiting for Amay, my best friend. I just grabbed my V.K manga's and binder and got outta that hell-hole. I walked down the streets with caution, looking out for rapers and thugs ...Ok So Maybe I wasn't hot enouph for the first one but thugs? Man You never know what there gonna steal. And Now that I'm thinking about it, what about Vampires. Sure I was semi-obessed with Vampire knight but, The closets I'm getting is, Zero, Ohh or a Sparkly one...like in Twlight...Spaarrklless.

"Alison, your home already? I thought you had a detention to take care of." My mom was a concerned woman even about my grades.

"Nope, cause gave me another detention and kicked me outta of class." I handed the paper to her.

"Oh, Alison Anne! What is wrong with you?" My mom wailed. "Just to think I was planning to give you present for your birthday!"

"Oh no! Moma! I don't want any presents!" In two days its going to be my 17 birthday and I'm not very excited cause I hate when my mother spends money on me. The only present I want is for school not to exist, that's impossible. In mean, c'mon at least make school fun! But only Amay makes its bearable.

"Honey, why don't you go play with your friends and stay out for awhile before Lance gets home…." My mothers voice changed, the look that crushed my soul, no longer the strong mother I knew.

"No! Mom, I'll stay with you this time!" I attempted. Lance, my moms new boyfriend, the third one this year, all of them abused her. We were silent at the kitchen counter then my mother finally answered.

"You can stay, but you must stay in your room."

"But-"

"No buts, your lucky you get this!" She looked out the window. "He's here! GO!" She pushed me into my cluttered room.

"Mom!-mom?" I listened for what was going to happen. I heard his voice it slurred and was filled with questionable anger. There voices were muffled but the bangs weren't. My eyes widened in utter terror as I heard the screams of my mom. Tears streamed down my face, out of all the times, this is when I cry. I cant believe this is what she went though, while I was out playing with Amay. There was a cracking sound from outside and I couldn't figure out if that was my mothers bones or the wall. My stomach churned and I felt like I was gonna throw up."

"Mother..." Barley under a whisper, I wanted to save her but I couldn't, I wasn't really a coward, but hell I wasn't that strong either.

"Who's that?" I heard him ask and all noises stopped, including my breath.

"Alison" Oh, mom I'm so sorry.

"Alison, is that the daughter you mentioned?"

"Yes, but-Please!"

"May I meet her?"

"No-!"

"Oh, Its not like I'm going to hurt her." He slurred and I started to hear footsteps coming towards me. I looked for a place to hide but my room was way to messy, so I backed against the wall and watched him open the door.

"My, I thought you'd be younger for a high voice." That kinda pissed me off.

"I thought you'd look drunker, for a sleazy voice." I countered. This obviously pissed him off, cause he shoved me into the wall. "Ah!" I immediately shoved back, But like I said, not that strong... Ok I did gymnastics but some fancy flip wasn't getting me out of this.

"Oh, that was a mistake." He chuckled, and after that all I remember is pain.

I was awakened by thunder,I immediately shot up.

"Ugh" I cringed in pain my whole body ached.

I looked to see were I was cause This certinally was NOT my bed.

I was in a forest.  
>WTF?<br>And it was pouring, I shivered I'm defiantly going to have a cold. "Hello?" I shouted. Aw, shit, I'm in trouble. Were am I? I felt all over my body to see if I was still alive, I felt cuts and bruises and my head was bleeding, there was a lot of blood. I looked around to see if there was any thing around me to have for shelter, then I spotted something it was a lump on the grass and leaves, I squinted to get a closer look. "My backpack!" I limped over to it in pain. What the hell was my backpack doing here?

Zero P.O.V

Midnight

(witching hour muahaha!)

Me and Yuuki were running to find shelter from the storm when I stopped dead short.

"Zero! C'mon! I don't want to get a cold! Zero, I'm sure no vampire in our school is wandering around in this weather!" Yuuki whined.

"Yuuki."

"Yeah?"

"I smell blood, lots of it"

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><p><strong>Well there you go, updated a little but most of it is curtasy of T.S0616. Next chapter will be out soon, Or at least thats the plan. I'll accept suggestions. :P<strong>


	2. Chapter 2 Sorry It's So Short

_Recap__:_

"Zero! C'mon! I don't want to get a cold! Zero, I'm sure no vampire in our school is wandering around in this weather!" Yuuki whined.

_"Yuuki."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"I smell blood, lots of it"_

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><p>"I knew I had baid-aids in here somewhere...doo doo doo...Ahh found it!" I sang, pulling out a box of hello kitty baid-aids, because we all know she is just awesome.<p>

After sticking them on my minor cuts I sighed and decided that I should get up and find out where I was...well thats until I fell to the ground. Why? Because my leg was bleeding hevely and I just sat here wondering how the heck I didn't notice it before.

Yep sitting there, for 3 whole minutes just staring at my leg before some random guy and girl came into the tiny little forset section I was in..I think they looked like Zero and Yuuki but you know I was probably just haveing some blood loss hallusinaiton.

I shrugged and went back to staring at my leg...that's gotta hurt..unless I'm like a freacking super-teenager who doesn't feel pain...Dude that would be awesome!

My wonderful thoughts were inturupted by the girl freacking out and the guy coming down with constapation or something because his face cringled and his eyes...woah his eye flashed red? Now thats cool. Wait... I've seen that somewhere before...

"Are you okay?" The girl asked panicing, because obviously I was okay, I mean I'm just on the verge of bleeding to death.

I raised my eyebrow and gave her a 'what do you think?' look, Sure I was in pain but I cant help it, Sarcasm is my nature.

I was suddenly scooped up and before I could protest I groaned out it pain.

"Mother Fricken Evil stranger, probably going to gang rape me or something." I muttered through my teeth that were clenched in pain.

There was something along the lines of a growl before I was drooped into a fluffy bed, giving me a clear view of who was carrying me.

Was just I just me or were the people here great cosplayers?

...

"I think I'm going to need a bigger band-aid" I commented, making the girl sweat drop.

W.  
>T.<br>F.

How the crap did she do that?

Wait...

"Who are you random people?"

"I'm Yuuki and Thats Zero"

Ok I've lost it..off the deep end...Lala land.

"Huh...That's nice, I'm going to pass out dramatically to end the chapter because the Author has writer's block"

"..What?" Was all I heard before it went black.

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><p><strong>Yea I've had the worst case of Writer's Block This week. No worries though, Something Random will inspire me...It always does.<strong>

**Inspiration for chapter 2: _Kangaroo's cant hop backwards _and _No, Hello Kitty band-aid's are not real._**


	3. Authors Note!

**I hate these things But It had to be done!  
><strong>

**So excuse time! I've been on Vacation for awhile and I really didn't have time to write. I'm still on Vacation but I'm trying to write.**

**- Love Kiki.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews they make me smile! Since this is my first try on a multiple chapter thing I almost gave up...but then I was going through my email and I was like Shit, people like this? How awesome are they? (probably not very to like anything I do :P ) I Also saw some people favrioted me..which is strange because I can't spell. At all. **

**_I will however tell you there is going to be a one-shot for FMA called 'What hurts the most' out it's going to be AlxOC so I guess if you like that, read it..._ OK...I guess I'll get on to the disclaimer. **

**Sorry It takes so long, I have writers block all the time..-.- **

**Plus my freind Emily will be helping me with this so lets go!**

**Emily: Wait!**

**What?**

**Emily: Kiki doesn't own Vampire Knight in any way, shape, or form. **

**Can't I dream?**

**Emily- Not when were at Copyright Risk!**

**...fine, But I do own Alison! **

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><p>So here I am again, and now that I have gained some form of sanity this can continue.<p>

And...I'm kind of afraid to open my eyes. I mean wouldn't you be?

One minute you being beat/almost raped but your mother's boyfriend and the next your in the woods, bleeding and seeing vaguely familiar people come down with a panic attack and constipation right before your blood-shot eyes!

Magic? Maybe.

A bad tuna fish sandwich for lunch? Plausible

...I'm going with Magic.

Why?

It's obviously the most logical explanation. Duh.

When said vaguely familiar people tell you there names you still don't know who they are and pass out, mumbling something about how awesome the author is? (**A.N. Emily-...That didn't happen... Kiki- Shut up...**)

That's when you know you went off the deep end.

Actually you know you went off the deep end when your talking to yourself about going off the deep end.

Guess when I went off?

...Now that your done making fun of me going off the deep end I'm going to open my eyes.

Oh look...a wall. Oh and Amay in a hospital bed.

What do you mean who's Amay? In the first chapter I wrote 'Amay, my best friend' how did you not catch that long sentence?

Stupid.

Ok back to naming things!

A chair and...wait Amay? What the cheese is Amay doing in a hospital bed?

Wait...What am I doing in a hospital bed?

_Wow your slow._

I am not!

**_...uhh yea you are._**

You two voices come down here! Want a piece of me? huh!

_We can't go anywhere dumbass. Were the autho- I mean gods._

**_Nice save. _**

_No need for the Sarcasm._

**_No it was needed._**

HEY! You damn voices! shut the fuck up!

_We can make you shut the fuck up._

**_Mwhahahaha_**

_Evil lauph? Too much. Too Much._

**_You spelled Laugh wrong dumbfuck. It's L-A-U-G-H._**

_Do I care? _

I'm still here, oh magical voices from unicorn land!  
><em><br>**We should have made her a little more sane. **_

_Should've Would've Could've but I cant!_

**_Yes...You can. I can just type away at your little key thingy and make her magically sane._**

_No It's not possible anymore so PISS OFF!_

**_Fine..christ. _**

_I'm an Atheist._

**_Shut up._**

I give up. You guys are giving me headaches! I think I've officially lost it.

_You did that a long time ago. Were just here to entertain our puny brains. _

**_I do not have a puny brain!_**

_Whats 4+4?_

**_...5...It's 8._**

_A two year old could guess that faster than you._

**_...Let's just get back to the plot._**

_But we don't have one._

**_Don't tell them that!_**

_I just did. _

What's going on? I'm just going to ignore you and stare at that wall now...

_Bitch you can't do that!_

_**..Yea she can.**_

_Crap..._

There is a bug on the wall...

_...You can't ignore us forever._

It has 8 legs...I think that makes it a spider. I had a dream about a spider when I passed out.

**_Bitch...were still here. _**

I'm going to pick this glass of water up now...

*SMASH!*

_Did...She just throw the glass at the spider?_

**_Did she just miss?_**

_God we need to give her a brain._

**_You Shall not use the Lord's name in vain. _**

_I'm an Atheist._

**_Shut up._**

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><p><strong>Wooh! There is Chapter 3! Emily And I love all religions! We don't hate!<strong>

**Emily- Yea, the only reason Cathloic is made fun of in here is because I'm cathloic, Kiki is an Atheist.**

**...Don't hate!  
><strong>

**_R&R&R! _**

**_Relax, Read and Review! Tell us If our attempted humor worked!_**


	5. Chapter 4

**Want to know a fun fact? No? Well to bad were going to tell you anyway.**

**This Story was Originally going to be a serious thing. **

**We had a plot line and everything! **

**But then we sat down and Kiki said something along the lines of 'Bitch, I cant write this! I'm just going to insert my awesomeness' and Of course Emily said 'Your not awesome, shut the fuck up.' Then Kiki said ' Yea? Then you write it!' and Emily said '..yea do whatever'**

**And that is how we got rid of a 76 chapter plot line and just starting making stuff up!**

**...Dont you just love it? **

**Oh and We know the first and Second chapters were shit. **

**My friend Emily here has a habit of being a back seat writer, meaning she yells at me for everything...*sigh*. **

**Anyway this is a long authors note huh? Hell I bet nobody even reads these things. **

**We don't own Vampire Knight, or anything in it, blah blah blah, something about Alison and Amay or some shit like that. On with the story.**

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><p>Oh...You're here again? Does that mean I need to start narrating my cliche life again? I do? Oh...well If you dumbfucks don't remember what happened last chapter, go back and read it because I am not doing another damn recap!<p>

Ok, I'm still sitting In the hospital bed, The autho-gods are still ranting, the cup I threw is still on the ground smashed, the water is still everywhere, The damn spider is still there and Amay is still sleeping.

Fun?

...Do you understand my vast knowledge of Sarcasm? Oh and I have seemed to required somewhat of a mental capacity.

_I told you not to make her smart!_

**_I tried! I just don't know where to stop!_**

_I can deal with the sarcasm but Mental capacity? W.T.F? I mean come on!_

...Told you. They just rant and rant and rant. I think I'm just going fucking insane. One minute my head is just going to explode and a bunch of damn unicorns or some shit is going to come out, or at least thats what voice number one says.

_I told you my name is Kiki! Not voice number one you dumb ass!_

**_Why does she get to be voice number one! Why am I number TWO?_**

What did I tell you? They don't shut up. They just talk, never make anything happen. I mean the glass made a noise right? So shouldn't someone come in?

_Pshh, I was so going to do that._

Then why didn't you?

_Shut up._

See what I mean? They don't even make Amay wake up. They can't really with the way they have the P.O.V. set up.

_**P.O.V.?**_

_I thought you were the smart one? It mean Point of view._

I would recommend you change the point of view...

**_Don't recommend shit_**

...They just Dont listen. I mean I haven't even talked since chapter 2! This is all just fuck thoughts!

_You think too much._

At least I have a brain to think with.

**_I think she just fucking burned you._**

_I don't like her anymore...we should do a P.O.V. Change..._

**_But what happens after that? We don't have a damn plot!_**

_We do what I have been doing for the last 3 chapters...WINGING IT!_

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><p>P.O.V. Change...Because we can.<p>

I groaned as my eyes opened.

Oh...I'm in the hospital thing? I guess the autho-gods didn't know what to do...

_It was a dream you ass!_

oh still there...

Now as I was lost in what I'm sure was insanity, Amay was screaming-Oh look she's awake!

"Why are you screaming?" I yelled, trying to get my voice to out do hers.

She looked at me like I was insane (Which I'm pretty sure I was) then screamed again.

"I'm covered in blood, your arm is in a cast and Yuuki-freackin-Cross is standing at the door!" She exclaimed, pointing to where the brunette stood.

"Oh! Hey...I know that name. Where the fuck is it from? ...Twilight? No...True Blood? No that's not it..." I mumbled, trying to figure out what it was, I know it's something Vampire related..."Vampire Knight! That's it"

"Yea you Ass! VAMPIRE KNIGHT! YUUKI FROM FREACKING VAMPIRE KNIGHT IS STANDING RIGHT THERE!"

I blinked at her, I mean she's usually pretty calm. This bitch was not out yelling me.

"I KNOW! STOP YELLING SHE CAN OBVIOUSLY HEAR YOU! NOW SHUT UP BEFORE I MAKE YOU!" I yelled, smiling at my accomplishment of making Amay cover her ears.

I looked over-

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><p><strong>Alison-...What do you mean the chapters over? I was in the middle of a damn sentence!<strong>

_Just suck it up! Anyway, R&R&R- Relax, Read, and Review! - Love Kiki!_

**_IF you didn't figure it out, this voice is Emily. We rushed on this one because, we have no life- I mean were going on vacation!_**

_...But were not going on Vacation again until the end of July..._

**_I know, I suck at improv. _**

_That you do...That you do. :) Love ya Reviewers! And The Followers...useing your fancy email to tell you when we update..._

**_Email isn't fancy..._**

**IMPORTANT! ALERT! IMPORTANT!**

_Yes it is. But we wont we updating 6/30/11 Because I have to go to the dentist for a root canal and I will be to busy crying with pain to write._

**_Yea, I have to go to the dentist to (Were sisters...) but I have to get my Wisdom teeth out. _**

_Basically were both going to be crying, or talking delerious, either way no update ...Sorry! (Oh...Were posting this at 12:25am, So if it says 30th than I guess it's true but no new chapter after this until at least the first or second. _


	6. Chapter 5

**Were just on a fucking roll! Wooo! Some of you might ask 'Why the fuck are you updating so fast?' **

**Well there are a couple answers to that:**

**(Why DID we update so fast?)**

**1. Vampireknightmaniac said that we would get virtual Ice-cream with toppings. When Ice-cream is out there is rush man! RUSH! Also, they said PLEASEEEEEE!**

**2. Abby-Flourite said we were funny...(Emily- That was two chapters ago... Kiki- Who gives a fuck? She said it last chapter too! So suck on that!**

**3. Crystal-Wolf-Guardain-967 said that they can't wait for more, so we figured that we wouldn't make them wait. (Emily- again Two chapters ago. Kiki- again who gives a fuck?)**

**(Why Emily Is Super Bitchy Today?)**

**..We got a bad review, Yea she tends to overreact. I just keep telling her, flip them off and walk away.**

**Emily- Are you done talking about our reviewers?**

**No, Stop being such a bitch! :P There what keep me writing!**

**Emily- No that pile of Monster cans is what keeps you writing.**

***Sigh* We don't own this shit. If we did it would suck . We do own Alison and Amay, suck on that you whores...la da de da... .**

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><p>Bananas, Unicorn...Ok, Just making sure I'm not cut off in the middle of a fucking sentance again.<p>

_Don't talk to us like that!_

They dont go away...*sigh* anyway lets just go to the thing.

**Recap (Because we feel like being nice to the lazy asses):**

_"Oh! Hey...I know that name. Where the fuck is it from? ...Twilight? No...True Blood? No that's not it..." I mumbled, trying to figure out what it was, I know it's something Vampire related..."Vampire Knight! That's it"_

_"Yea you Ass! VAMPIRE KNIGHT! YUUKI FROM FREACKING VAMPIRE KNIGHT IS STANDING RIGHT THERE!"_

_I blinked at her, I mean she's usually pretty calm. This bitch was not out yelling me._

_"I KNOW! STOP YELLING SHE CAN OBVIOUSLY HEAR YOU! NOW SHUT UP BEFORE I MAKE YOU!" I yelled, smiling at my accomplishment of making Amay cover her ears._

_I looked over-_

* * *

><p>And then I was cut off...bitch freacking authors.<p>

Pussys...

**_Now Aly, Remember what the counslers said!_**

Yea , whatever. Anyway So I look over and My best friend is having a Panic Attack (even after I told her to shut the fuck up) , some voices are still FUCKING RANTING! and Yuuki Cross from Vampire Knight is standing at the door.

_I thought we were venting..._

I'm not a fucking diary you know!

_One by one the unicorns are stealing my sanity._

...What?

_**It's true. They already took all of mine. You see they eat sanity-**_

_And the dreams of small childern._

**_And then shit out bigmacs,_**

_And then They sell the bigmacs to hobos!_

**_And they use the money to buy skittles_**

_...For the Rainbow, You see they want to be able to taste it._

**_And thats why were not alowed at our local walmart- wait wrong story. _**

...Hobo's dont have money.

_Out of everything we said that's what you have to point out?_

You guys just don't surprise me anymore.

_**Fuck! Did you hear that?**_

_Shit ya I did! I think we have been issues a cha-le-an-ge!_

No...just don't-

_**Too late! We will gain up out awesomeness skills and try harder.**_

_Yes, Now that the unicorns have taken the magic sanity we can come up with thingssss!_

Like I don't know GETTING ALONG WITH THE PLOT?

_**Yea do you hear that we made a plot! **_

_Yea, We get one bad review and Emily goes off and makes a damn plot...I'm not following it. _

Ok...

_Fuck this! I'm doing a fucking time skip! There are only so many thing to make fun of in the not moving series we seem to have._

**_You cant just time ski-_**

**_00000000_**

_I'm sorry what? I just skipped over your annoying rant._

**_Just wait until the next chapter..._**

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><p><strong>Sorry It sucks, yes we will admit this chapter sucks.<strong>

_I mean crap, I can only make so many jokes before I need something else to make fun of!_

**_Says the girl who got us banned from our local walmart._**

_Not my fault!_

**_You failed at being a greater, you awnsered with 'Welcome to walmart get you damn shit and get out' _**

_Hey, Thats why I got fired, not why I got kicked out. That my friend is a whole diffrent story. _

**...R&R&R! Relax, Read, And Review!**


	7. Chapter 6

_**Haha...So many excueses I could use...**_

**...You Could just tell them the truth!**

_**...My Dog Licked my computer? **_

**Thats not even beliveable. **

_**:(! OK Hi I guess. Were back..Happy Birthday Noah!**_

**So you wont write on the forth of July but you will write on our brothers birthday?**

_**7 isn't an important number!**_

...

We will be updating far less, Because we got Jobs...Hopefully Kiki Doesn't fuck it up this time.

_**...Oh Yea, We don't own Vampire Knight, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW!**_

* * *

><p>Why are you people still here? Get a life or go mug a hobo or something! Anything is more entertaining than this.<p>

I mean the Authors are just creepy. They get there insperation from playing games like 'Robot Unicorn Attack'.

_Don't knock it...OH CRAP I DIED!_

See? They didn't even tell you that I got moved from the hospital.

**Well we have been busy!**

With what? Trying to figure out new ways to crush the dreams of childern?

_Nooo! Today is a Sunday._

**Stupid.**

What does that have to do with anything?

_We crush the dreams of children on Mondays, you know then we give it to the Unicorns. _

...Anyway, Like I said I got moved from the hospital. I don't think there is much of a point to that.

_We will find one...Just not right now. _

Why did you people skip a week anyway?

**_Oh, No Insperation. We had our mind on a totally diffrent topic._**

_Yea, our merged mind was focused on FMA. We FINALLY saw the moive. _

**_Yes we did._**

_I cried when Alphonse Hedrich died._

This isn't an FMA chat room, It's a Vampire Knight Crack Story.

_Oh. I forgot. Ummm Say Something funny to end the EXTREMELY NONE FUNNY chapter._

**_Yea you're right this chapter sucks. I mean I didn't lauph once._**

_You spelled laugh wrong..._

**_Shut up._**

_CHICKEN!_

**What?**

_I don't know. _


	8. Authors Note Again Yea we Know it sucks

_**Bold Italics: Kiki**_

**Just Bold: Emily**

**First I'm sorry for every one who thought this was a chapter, but This Authors note had to be done. IM SO SORRY!**

**...**

_**Our reviewers are liars!**_

**...?**

_**They liked the last chapter and it succckkkeeeddd so they are either stupid or liars.**_

**Or maybe they just liked it.**

_**Not Possible.**_

**Uh Ok, Confession Time!**

_**Yea, haha Funny Story, You see we never accutally finshed watch Vampire Knight...**_

**We only watched a few episodes...**

_**So we have no idea what the freack we doing.**_

**Told you it was funny...haha.**

_**Yea, not really. So we are going to stop writing, and go watch the series or read the manga...**_

**..._And Manga Bothers me!_**

**Then Read the English version.**

_**But then when mom catches me she goes 'All that money wasted on you learning Japanese and you don't even put it to use!'**_

**Thats why I learned Italian, mom can't yell when she finds me reading Manga.**

_**Shut up. I'm going to strain myself to translate all the words in the Japanese Manga...*sigh* I hate our mother.**_

**Just go start your translations.**

_***Gloomy air and depressing lines appear out of nowhere***_


	9. Chapter 7

**_Bold Italics: Kiki  
><em>Just Bold: Emily**

**_Repeation Annoys Me. I mean seriously!_**

**Don't mind her, she's just cranky because she stayed up all night trying to translate the Vampire Knight Manga.**

**_Why oh why did I have to learn Japanese?_**

**And our mother won't let her read the English verison. **

**_My head hurts so much...I'm never reading Japanese again._**

***sigh* We don't own Vampire Knight, and if we did it would be at a dead end because Kiki's translations suck. **

* * *

><p><strong>Italics: Kiki<br>Bold: Emily**

**(Alison's Pov)**

I looked around the chairman's office, trying to figure out what point in time I had infultratied the Cross Acadamy.

_Haha Big word...Oh yea,I'm not suppose to be here! Uh...IS THAT A DUCK?_

Ignoring that...

Now what point in hell am I?

Notice how I said I?

Well The Authors have decided that Amay got knocked out again and didn't wake up yet. Yay.

So Zero is standing over there and...Is the Maria? Ok...I guess I'm around Chapter 14 of the manga? Something like that...

**_*Sigh* This is going to be a problem._**

..Why?

_Well Emily only got to Chapter 19 so she has her mind on that. I on the other hand am only on Chapter 17 because I have to translate every damn sign/ letter thing. _

So your all messed up?

_**Well until both of us finsh the manga this is on hold.**_

What? Thats messed up dude, and we just got into telling the story part instead of sitting around cracking jokes...

_I know dude, I know, but It has to be done._

Is this your version of another authors note?

_Shit no! I plan to...do something._

**_Have you ever noticed that Justin Bieber's old hair made him look queer?_**

_Well..yea__. I refuse to put out the chapter until it has at leat 900 words._

_**But dude it only has like 500 now.**_

_So?_

**_So You'll have to sit here and think of thing to say...Lets sing the Cullen song!_**

_Heres a Cullen_

**_Theres a Cullen_**

_And another little Cullen._

**_Fuzzy Cullen_**

_Funny Cullen_

**_Cullen_**

_Cullen_

**_Truck._**

_Cullen_

**_Cullen_**

_Werewolf_

**_Cullen._**

_Grizzly_

**_Human_**

_Piano_

_**Cullen.**_

_Cullen_

**_Cullen_**

_Bracelet_

**_Cullen._**

_Cullen_

**_Cullen_**

_Truck._

**_I was once a Volvo_**

_Cedward baked a cake_

**_But(t) I never saw the way_**

_The Bella kissed the Jake._

**I was only just undead**

_Alice told a tale_

**And now listen, Bella dear**

Jacob wags his tail.

**Did you ever see a Cullen**

_Kiss a Cullen_

**On the Cullen?**

Cullens Cullen tastes of Cullen.

**Cullen**

Cullen

**Truck.**

Half a Cullen

**Twice a Cullen**

Not a Cullen

**Newton**

_Cullen._

_**Cullen in a car**_

_Alarm a Cullen_

**Cullen**

Truck.

**Is this how its told now?**

_Aro is so old_

**Is it made of venom juice?**

Sparkle

**Marble**

Cold.

**Alice likes to spend the cash**

Jacobs out of luck

**And in the final chapter**

He imprints with a duck.

...**Well That was fun.**

_That was only...882 words. Now what do we do?_

**_Well were up to 865 and I dont feel like writing anymore and ..._**

_Its 1:22 PM Eastern US time, I didn't sleep yet so peace out I just dont give a crap anymore._

**_T_****_here now it's more than 900, and you know we live on the East Coast...Now I'm going to bed._**


	10. Chapter 8

_**Bold Italic/Italics: Kiki**_  
><em><strong>Bold: Emily.<strong>_

_**Man our last two chapters sucked.**_

**...I know *Sigh* but we have this one, I mean It sucks but...**

_**I get it. Anyway, my retarded readers that have no lives-**_

**She means amazing people.**

_**...No I don't. Back to the point, were going on vacation starting the 22nd until the 31st.**_

**Were going South to Virginia Beach Baby :P!**

_**Yea, Because No matter what season, Northern-Eastern American sucks.**_

**You hear that stalkers? You know the general area in which we live in now :P.**

_**…. Creeper, you and your approximate knowledge.**_

**...NO REVIEWS?**

**_I KNOW! ONLY REVIEW IS TWO CHAPTERS AGO FROM...ABBY-FLOURITE!_**

**...That settles it. She/He's our Fav :P**

* * *

><p>Ah we must stop meeting like this Honey. I mean, you just creeping on me? You reading my life story ;).<p>

No but seriously stops creeping on me and my mo- What the fuck?

_Just read the script dumbass._

I will not tell them that my mother and I were-

**Just do it!**

Baking cookies! Happy? I said it!

_Woah, what were you thinking? You nasty minded reader. _

**You people disgust me!**

_Pervs..._

...Anyway, we really do have to stop meeting like this... It scares the crap out of me.

No Really It Does.

When you leave everything freezes and I just have to sit and wait for you to comeback to continue anything.

Yea, It's just me and the authors... It's scary man, so scary.

I'm scared for life, I mean sometimes they just talk about frosted cheerios but others...

It's batshit scary man...I may never be able to eat peanut butter again...

_Script! _

Well the Script says-

**Script? What Script? This is reality! *Nervous Laugh***

...

_Oh-kay then._

...Yea...

Anyway, Where was I before she threw the Script? Here?

"I knew I had

_...Aly_

baid-aids in here somewhere...

_...ALY!_

What?

_You too far back, that was chapter 2._

Oh...Here?

Bananas, Unicorn...Ok, Just making sure-

_No, That was Chapter 5._

Why are you people still here?

**Chapter 6.**

Oh...Well lets try.. HERE!

I looked around the

**..That was Chapter 7.**

_GOD! Just give me the damn thing...we were...uhh, no...uh.. here!_

Jeez, your so pushy...

1. Trash bags

2. Aniseed

3. Rubber Gloves.

_Opps that's my shopping list._

Why do you need Aniseed?

_To throw off the dogs- I mean for cleaning...yea cleaning._

Why does the bottom say 'If Caught Eat Paper?'

_Just give me the damn thing!_

**Oh! Did you finally get Aaro-**

_Shut up!_

I'm just going- Why are there sirens going off?

_Oh Shit! Hit the deck!_

What?

**False alarm, just a fire truck.**

_Jeez Aly, don't scare me like that!_

I'm just reading the script!

**THERE IS NO SCRIPT! IT'S REALITY!**

..She threw it! What am I suppose to do?

_Crap...Just Improvise!_

What? !

_Don't shit yourself, I'm looking...Damn Emi, You must have a good arm! _

Uh...Hi there. Umm...What's up?

**You suck at this...**

Well maybe if SOMEONE didn't throw the script I wouldn't be having this problem.

**Oh That Someone, He causes so much trouble, Him and his partner, Nobody. **

神の母

**When did you learn Japanese?**

I didn't. I read it off the script.

**Well when did we get a Japanese keyboard?**

_When Mom yelled at me for 'wasting her money with those language classes.' So I wasted her money on a keyboard attachment._

What does that even mean?

_Mother of God. Read the next line. _

私は遅らせるだとキキはあらゆる方法で、形状やフォームで私よりも優れています。

Woah that was long...What did it mean?

_Something About A delay, Emily typed it randomly. _

Oh...Well that's no fun.

**Oh Fuck you, it looks awesome..**

_It sounds retarded, what were you thinking?_

**I was thinking that I can't speak Japanese so I pick the ones that look cool. **

Huh...Well that was the last line in the script sooo, I'm outtie.

_No, Your not. The screen is gonna freeze until our readers come back ;)._

Madre de Dios, Save me!

* * *

><p><em>1. To save Aly from our Wrath, Review.<em>

**2. To win at live press the button named 'review' ...It's in code.**

_Damn Straight!_


	11. Chapter 9

**_Italics/Bold Italics: Kiki  
><em>Bold: Emily. **

**Dear Amazing Readers!**

**_Hi. _**

**Were back...Sort of...**

_**Yea, were in the hospital...**_

**I'm not hurt...**

_**But Alas I am...**_

**...We don't own Vampire Knight, Although we don't even have Vampire Knight in this chapter..**

* * *

><p>The Authors haven't been around In awhile.<p>

It's been nice, The Silence is amazing.

Really! Where did they-

_Hiii!_

Crap.

**Were backkk!**

Whyyyy?- I mean where where were you?

**Virgina Beach! Did you miss us?**

_Of course She did! Why wouldn't she? _

There are so many reasons...-.-.

_Sadface! Ooo! I got stung by a jelly fish...It hurt._

**Yea, you also broke your leg.**

_...I got hit by a car! But don't worry I'm alive...just hurt._

**It was scary...**

_Says the person who was laughing when she called 911._

**I said Sorry!**

_It went something like this. '911 what's you emergancy?' 'My-haha- Sister-HAHAH!- just got- haha- hit by-hahah- a- ha- car."_

**You were laughing!**

_I was crying not laughing..._

**Oh...**

_YEA!_

Well...It's seems like you guys had fun...

_We did._

**_-.- Bipolar much?_**

_Shut up...My cast is Purple._

_-beep-_

_-beep-_

Why is there beeping?

**Were writing this from the hospital..**

_I'm hooked up to the machines, apartently there just checking for stuff and I get released in like an hour..._

**They have free Wifi...**

_And TV..Though it's soo tiny..._

**Tiny TV...**

Is it just me or is this story going nowhere?

_Yea, It's going nowhere but we get bored and people like it so whatever..._

**Yep...**

_I have a song stuck in my heeadd!_

**What song?**

_I don't remember the namee..but it goes "No one else is-I'm the best round guy in the universe! Maybe theres a Cube out there, that could be pretty good but I haven't meet him yet. We Don't hang out"_

_**DONT WRITE THE AWNSER IN THE REVIEW! READ THE REST OF THE CHAPTER TO KNOW WHY!**_

**I know what your talking about but I can't remember...Hey reader people! First person to tell us the name of the song a who sings it gets...something...we didn't pick it yet but you'll get something...have any recemendations? Do you people want something? If so what? Get the song and well... give something to you. **

Something?

_We don't know what these people want! Oh...We can't give you any money, or anything that cost money...I mean maybe we could send you something in the mail or something...but it can't cost anything. We don't really know what we can give you... you pick :P!_

**Haha nothing perverted either! ****Yea...**

_Well were leaving the hospital (and yea I wrote an hour...well 2 hours ago XD) soo...See ya next chapter!_

**_Wait! Plz don't write your awnser for the song in the review! Send it to us (KikiLovesYou) In a PM! We don't want people just copying your awnser. _**

_Were going to put a few quotes in here to**, ONLY AWNSER 2! We WANT OTHER PEOPLE TO HAVE CHANCES TOOO! Remeber PM them to us, don't put them in the reviews.**_

CONTEST THINGS!

1. Song- "No one else is-I'm the best round guy in the universe! Maybe theres a Cube out there, that could be pretty good but I haven't meet him yet. We Don't hang out"

2. "I'm lost but I'm making good time_._"

3. "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results."

4. "Some men see things as they are and say, "Why?" I dream of things that never were and say, "Why not?"

5. "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few."

6. "Guilt is the payment made by a shallow self to avoid real change."

7. "Where is the wisdom that we have lost in knowledge?  
>Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?"<p>

8. "Trying to change ourselves in order to please others -  
>so that we can feel temporarily whole for having won their approval -<br>is like cutting a flower into pieces so that it will fit into a vase_."_

**_If you have any questions PM us and Remember DONT PUT YOUR AWNSER IN THE REVIEWS AND ONLY PICK 2 OR LESS TO AWNSER!_**


	12. Chapter 10

**Bold: Emily.  
><em>Bold ItalicsItalics: Kiki._**

**Ahh Were Back. ****It's been awhile..**

**_In our absense we did nothing that stopped us from updating..._**

**We didn't update because...we didn't want to write...**

_**Way to make it blunt Emi. **_

**Yes I know but...yea...**

_**Yea...Scary Thought...We kinda forgot...because We found a new obbsession! **_

**Yea It's called Ouran High School Host Club.**

_**Twins..So...Hot...Need...Fancy...Tuna.**_

**Scary, we don't own Vampire Knight or anything else that we ...yea.**

_**No matter what Emi says we do own our OCs...welll really there not in the story much...sad right?**_

* * *

><p>Hi, I'm back obviously...It's been about a month since I've seen you guys...<p>

WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME WITH THE AUTHORS?

I thought we were friends! You were the Butter to my toast, The Apple to my pie, And lets face it the Bitch to my pimp because I so rule this friendship we got going.

...Ahh It's nice to be back.

Anyway, I don't even remember where we were in the story so this chapter isn't going to make any sense...

_Our Chapters never do._

**True that...**

Anyway, now that I'm done breacking the forth wall, I'll just... I don't know.

_Yea, you never know do you? Gosh...we have been gone for a whole month..._

**Did you miss us? Because we didn't miss you. In fact we totally forgot-OW!**

_Shut Up! Hehe Ignore everything she just said..._

**You hit hard-**

_So _does_ your mom._

**_..._Now are you done? Ok. We have been gone for a long long time, a whole month! God...**

_To be fair, August has been busy. I mean we had our birthday, and that stupid Earthquake that shook the house. _

**Dude I was like WTF? **

_I know, now you people who are laughing at us need to relize that were not used to earthquakes, our buildings just arnt built to withstand any earthquake._

**Now that the education is over, lets talk about Unicorns. **

_Like how Narwals are like underwater Unicorns! and How Unicorns are not belived it! SPREAD THE BELIEF SO THAT ONE DAY UNICORNS MAY LIVE AGAIN!_

**The more you belive...the more your parents want to submit you to a mental hospital.**

_And How fun do those look? I mean white rooms, finger painting, and those nice people who ask you how your feeling everyday..and how stuff makes you feel. It's like preschool all over again!_

**And who doesn't love preschool? Losers thats who.**

_Exactly. Oh there has seemed to be some confusion. Emily isn't acutally my twin. She's my friend who has the same birthday as me, were as close as sisters and both have brown hair and brown eyes._

**I wish we were twins, but sadly we are not...**

_Maybe we were taken apart at birth?_

**Maybe...**

_Oh and that contest? People already won it ;). _

**Yea, they did. **

Oooo_, and does anyone know anything about Mega-con in FL. Because I might go and...yea. _

**So If you want to meet her...I don't know go to Mega-con. **

_Ohh! And We turned 13. I know were super old right?_

**Ageing, were sooo old :P. **

_Please love our sarcasm._

**Yea...So if you want to meet Kiki(which IS NOT her name...) and I don't know why you would want to meet her because I mean come on! **

_Even If you did meet me (Why would you want to?) I'm going to be cosplaying so you wont know me! Hehe...Cosplay._

... **Seriously! We got a message yesterday about how someone wanted to meet us and we were like...Why?**

_Really, were two 13-year-old girls who write lame jokes all day. There is no point in meeting us XD._

***sigh* now that our rant is over**

_We didn't really plan anything out...soo so so so...Bye I guess?_

**There were no good jokes in this chapter.**

_I know right? It's kinda stupid-CHICKEN FINGERS!_

**_DO TURTLES HAVE EYELIDS!_**

_I don't know, do Chipmunks have kitchens?_

**I don't know...**

_I mean, why wouldn't they? They need to eat. _

**Off the nonexsitent topic. **

_Whatever...this chapter sucksss. Really sucks. Sucks so bad I wouldn't even let my dog pee on it._

**_..._Wow this is really bad...**


	13. Sorry

**Umm****...Hey?**_** Ha..**_

**Hi.**

**_We've been gone._  
><strong>

**Yep.  
><strong>

**_Because Emily and I got into a fight, and we don't talk anymore._  
><strong>

**Except for right now.  
><strong>

**_Yea. So anyway, We figured we owed you an explanation. _  
><strong>

**That's the correct answer.  
><strong>

**_Anyway. I didn't want to leave you with nothing._  
><strong>

**Neither did I.  
><strong>

**_And I don't feel like sharing a personal fight on the internet. So Let's just get started? I do have another account that I write on. But I don't want to give it out. Guess it? _  
><strong>

**I don't. This website is stupid.**

**_That's your personal opinion, and I respect it. Anyway, adios. If you want my account name, in box me I guess? Bye you guys. I'll miss you. . _  
><strong>


End file.
